Dirty Facebook Status

Dirty Facebook Status(Page 2)

1.     I think the woman who invented the phrase “All Men Are The Same” was a chinese woman who lost her husband in the crowd :)

2.     Woman without curves is like a road without bends…. You may get to your destination quicker, but the ride is boring as hell.

3.     If abortion is murder then are condoms kidnapping?

4.     Great minds think alike but dirty minds work together :)

5.     Your lips are like wine & I wanna get drunk.

6.     I’m a freelance gynecologist. How long has it been since your last checkup?

7.     Girls dont dress for boys, they dress for themselves. If girls dressed for boys, they’d just walk around naked all the time.

8.     In a cramped bus.. Lady: Something of yours is touching me. Man: Oh! That’s… that’s just my salary in my pocket. Lady: Did your salary just triple in the last 5 minutes?

9.     Women are like IPhones, you have to touch them all over before they respond. Men are like Blackberrys, rub one ball and everything moves!

10.  I once made love for an hour and fifteen minutes, but it was the night the clocks are set ahead.

11.  Hey girl, I’d like to be a part of your next abortion.

12.  Women and rocks are very much alike … We skip the flat ones.

13.  My mother never understood the irony in calling me a “son-of-a-bitch.

14.  Sex education may be a good idea in the schools, but I don’t believe the kids should be given homework.

15.  Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.

16.  Whats the worst thing you can do to a blind man? Leave the plunger in the toilet!

17.  I’m listening to the voices in my head and I’ve come to realize that they are having more fun than me. I’m gonna go join them for a few drinks.

18.  Touch it gently, put 2 fingers inside, if it’s wide use 3 fingers, make sure it’s wet and rub up and down. Yep that’s how you wash a cup.

19.  If you`re texting two people at the same time, you are bitextual.

20.  Not all cute guys have girlfriends, most of them have boyfriends…

21.  My idea of “friends with benefits” is another one of my friends doing my laundry. What were you people thinking.. I have morals.

22.  I’m spread before I’m eaten. Your tongue gets me off. People sometimes like to lick my nuts. What am I? “Peanut Butter”.

23.  What goes in hard and pink and comes out soft and squishy? What?! It’s bubble gum. Jeez, what were you thinking?!

24.  I swear my pillow could be a hairstylist I always wake up with the wierdest hairdos.

25.  I guess if you spoke your mind, you’d be speechless, huh?

26.  You miss 100 percent of the shots u never take.

27.  So many stupid people, and so few asteroids.

28.  Hands are so overrated..I think I’ll use my mouth..

29.  People say I have a dirty mind… But I say its just creative!